Posted by: cassymuronaka | August 21, 2012

Burning up in “The Midnight Sun”

Yesterday, I became convinced that the merciless Summer of ’12 has resulted in me beginning to behave like a character in that old “Twilight Zone” episode, “The Midnight Sun,” where everyone is being driven mad or dying from a sun that is steadily moving ever closer to the earth.

Contributing to my declining mental faculties are a couple of things that are gnawing away at me like an angry poodle attached to my ankle.

First there’s the swelling tidal wave of  Facebook pith and passion for the presidential race. All that’s left to me now is to get out of its path and find a cave in which to dwell for a while where the bears don’t have iPads.

Running concurrent to this massive Social Media annoyance is the bombardment I’ve been receiving from crafty telephone solicitors who leave loud, recorded dial tones when I don’t answer the phone;  which is pretty much always.

Despite several little fires on the home front that I should be dousing, I have instead thrown kindling onto my own personal blazes this week. This includes:

— Nearly being wrestled to the floor by my 22-year-old son, when I wanted to point one shakey finger directly on Facebook’s ACCOUNT DELETE button, which, by the way, is nearly impossible to find. My son sagely talked me into temporarily “deactivating” my account.

— Obsessively researching a variety of strange telephone numbers that repeatedly call my house, often on weekends. One of these was sourced to Saudi Arabia, another to Russia.  The third was from — wait for it —  a Washington D.C. telemarketing firm that works for the American Association of Retired People (AARP).

— Gleefully filing  an FCC complaint against AARP robocalls.  In further stunning hypocrisy, AARP boasts a 16-page “Code of Ethics” on its website. (It also easily applies my entire annual membership fee to junk mail touting bargain insurance and burial plans.)

— Composed a rage-sputtered letter to the president of AARP which I haven’t gotten around to mailing. But there will be no AARP membership renewal this year.

— Again issued a howling plea to my husband to dump the “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” telephone ring that has been playing since last December each time we receive a telephone call.

— Conducted a verbal evisceration Monday night of the telephone solicitor who had the bad sense to call me when I was hot and hungry. This conversation went as follows:

Schmuck with bad-timing: “Mrs. Muronaka? Well, ma’m, this is Joseph, and I see here that you’re on a list of people whose houses qualify for a green…”

Me: “Yeah, Joseph, do you also see that I’m on a government do-not-call solicitation list, too? (phone SLAM)

In the end, it turns out that the “Twilight Zone” character being played by actress Lois Nettleton in “Midnight Sun” is merely having a terrible dream, caused by a fever in weather where everyone on the planet actually is freezing to death.

As good as 10-below-zero sounds right now, I think I’ll just go go to Starbucks, order a cold Venti Frappacino, and try to chill out on my own.

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Responses

  1. BRAVA!   Jane Paul 9922 N. Sumter Creek Place Tucson, AZ 85742 602-820-7756

    ________________________________

    • Hello, Jane! Are you a friend of Cassy’s? I see you’re on the far north side; I live in Vail and teach in SW Tucson.

  2. Ah yes, one of my favorite episodes. Do I still want to move to Arizona? Hmmmm…………..there is a slight chill in the air here in Boston. A portent of things to come.

    Yes, yes I do still want to move to Arizona at some point. I will grow spines like a cactus and no one can bother me! LOL.

    Stay cool my friend.

    • Get ready for monsoon season, Roberta! 🙂

      • 10 months of the year, I’d say sure, you want to move to AZ (or at least here in Tucson, where we’re much nicer than the people up in Phoenix)! During monsoon (July & August), when the temp and the humidity each try to win the race to 100, I have to wonder if you are slightly mad! Martha, whose dad was from Holyoke.

  3. Hear! Hear! I vented on a poor woman calling for her husband’s construction business last night whose caller ID was Wireless Caller. Usually I hit the talk button, lay down the phone and hang it up later. My blocked calls are full again. Time to delete and start over. Time to go to the pool. I am hotter in this cooler muggier weather than when it was 90!

  4. MONSOON IS OVER! MONSOON IS OVER! MONSOON IS OVER! It’s supposed to be in the mid- to high-nineties all week, but with LOW HUMIDITY! WOO-HOO! This has been the worst season for humidity since we moved to Tucson in ’95. I’m almost used to the stench of mold & mildew…almost.


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