Posted by: cassymuronaka | December 22, 2010

Don’t say you weren’t warned

In 2004, the music and audio-visual Sam Goody chain store, hosted a “Bad-Gifts Boycott.” The list of 10, and its accompanying comments, was published on December 26. It bears repeating, for those of you blundering through the malls, still minus gift ideas, although gift item #2 is dated now. Your great aunt who loves butterflies and reindeer isn’t the only person knitting anymore. The Goth girl down the street visits the yarn department, too.

1. Clown Art – in the form of prints, statues, T-shirts and towels. Who knows, clown art might make resurgence in the years to come, but for now, resist the urge to purchase anything clown-related. Whether it’s a happy clown or a sad clown, the receiver of your gift will resemble the latter.

2. Homemade Sweaters – Remind yourself that the person who knitted the garment at least thought enough of you to take the time to create it, regardless of how itchy and ill-fitting it may be.

3. Puzzles – A good puzzle can be a great way to get the family together. However, be wary of giving a puzzle to anyone between the ages of 15 to 25. This age group sees the concept of working on a puzzle akin to watching grass grow.

4. Tube Socks – Many stores carry them in packages of three at prices thrifty holiday shoppers can’t refuse. Retro is in, but not THAT in.

5. Ties – Ugly ties, along with the fruitcake, have become a bad gift cliché. Yet, both items arrived in droves at last year’s Bad-Gift Boycott. Ladies, trust us, go easy on the ties this year.

6. Exercise Videos/Diet Books – Even if the package is adorned with multiple bows, it is impossible to give a gift of this ilk without offending the receiver. A gift/hint of this nature is as subtle as a battering ram.

7. Undergarments – Women typically choose boxer shorts with overly cute designs that men can’t wear to the gym. Men typically choose something too risqué — your average woman wouldn’t wear them in a million years. Men, trust us, go easy on the lingerie.

8. Padded Toilet Seat – What were you thinking?

9. Sausage Sample Pack – Sausage is best in small quantities. Very few people really, truly have a need for 10 different kinds of sausage at any one time.

10. Drug Store Perfumes – It’s cute if a very young boy buys it as his first gift for Mom, other than that, cheap perfume is wrong on too many levels to actually list.

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Responses

  1. I think I’m the only person on the planet who enjoys fruitcake. No one ever seems to give it to me, however, so I think the anti-fruitcake campaign has been pretty effective.

    • I adore fruitcake, too.

  2. Once again treading into dangerous territory, I will say: I am a great believer in the merit of padded toilet seats. I agree, however, that they are not appropriate as gifts.

  3. I feel obliged to report — No fruitcake again this year. However, I did OK since my sister Barb gave me a World Series coffee mug, my niece gave me a World Series pennant and my wife gave me yoga lessons


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