Posted by: cassymuronaka | April 27, 2010

Endless munchie

Since mid-February I’ve been enrolled in an evening college web design class at the same junior college that my son attends full-time. Being back on a college campus has been full of all kinds of little revelations, a large proportion of which have occurred at the student store or in one of its mini-branches on campus.

Last Wednesday, I anticipated needing a little jet fuel to get through my class, which runs until 10:10 pm, so I dropped by the nearest campus coffee bar/snack shop, in search of the strongest java I could find.

The visual stimulation of junk food was monumental. In addition to the not-unexpected variety of high octane Starbucks drinks, the store boasted a truly staggering number of chips. In fact, nothing on the store shelves seemed to contain anything less than pure caffeine, sugar, and/or salt.

Because I had about a half hour to kill before my class began, I walked the aisles as I guzzled my coffee, struck by all the names of the salty snacks that were completely new to me. My brief observation of the shelf contents lead to a series of questions:

— When did Chex Mix become available in “Turtle and Teriyaki” or “Spicy Szechuan?”

— What is is a “Corn & Potato Snack?”

— Do you think that even my son is fooled by the name, “Baken-Ets,” when the bag clearly labels it as fried pork skins?

— Who is Glenny, who is Chester, and when did their entire lines of munchies show up alongside the nine-million different kinds of Doritos and Cheetos?

— Why is there still just one flavor of Funyuns?

All in all, I counted 73 — count ’em, SEVENTY-THREE — varieties of potato chips, tortilla chips, or anything else that you could flavor and preserve indefinitely by salting and frying.

Which leads to my final question, and it’s certainly not a new one: If this is all that college students are living on, how is it that any of them are still alive?



  1. Salt has been used for centuries to preserve meat. Maybe it helps to preserve life, in the case of teenagers.

  2. Coke and chips — dinner of champions

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