Posted by: cassymuronaka | April 27, 2010

Endless munchie

Since mid-February I’ve been enrolled in an evening college web design class at the same junior college that my son attends full-time. Being back on a college campus has been full of all kinds of little revelations, a large proportion of which have occurred at the student store or in one of its mini-branches on campus.

Last Wednesday, I anticipated needing a little jet fuel to get through my class, which runs until 10:10 pm, so I dropped by the nearest campus coffee bar/snack shop, in search of the strongest java I could find.

The visual stimulation of junk food was monumental. In addition to the not-unexpected variety of high octane Starbucks drinks, the store boasted a truly staggering number of chips. In fact, nothing on the store shelves seemed to contain anything less than pure caffeine, sugar, and/or salt.

Because I had about a half hour to kill before my class began, I walked the aisles as I guzzled my coffee, struck by all the names of the salty snacks that were completely new to me. My brief observation of the shelf contents lead to a series of questions:

— When did Chex Mix become available in “Turtle and Teriyaki” or “Spicy Szechuan?”

— What is is a “Corn & Potato Snack?”

— Do you think that even my son is fooled by the name, “Baken-Ets,” when the bag clearly labels it as fried pork skins?

— Who is Glenny, who is Chester, and when did their entire lines of munchies show up alongside the nine-million different kinds of Doritos and Cheetos?

— Why is there still just one flavor of Funyuns?

All in all, I counted 73 — count ’em, SEVENTY-THREE — varieties of potato chips, tortilla chips, or anything else that you could flavor and preserve indefinitely by salting and frying.

Which leads to my final question, and it’s certainly not a new one: If this is all that college students are living on, how is it that any of them are still alive?

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Responses

  1. Salt has been used for centuries to preserve meat. Maybe it helps to preserve life, in the case of teenagers.

  2. Coke and chips — dinner of champions


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