Posted by: cassymuronaka | April 1, 2010

April foolish

What is it that snaps or goes haywire in the mind of a woman about to get married, as she begins thinking about her bridesmaids’ dresses? Or, should I say, stops thinking? Why is there often such a disconnect between the sleek and sophisticated bridal gown that the bride buys for herself versus the circus attire in which the she clothes her bridesmaids?

Twenty-seven years ago, I couldn’t get to the Salvation Army fast enough to deposit this frothy fabric jewel in the nearest donation bin. Aging Polaroids are all that remain of my one and only march down a church aisle as someone’s bridesmaid, and, as it happened, the friendship with the bride eventually turned out about as well as the bridesmaids’ dress designs.

Today’s 12-year-old wouldn’t be caught dead at a Father-Daughter Dance in this electric little number. And it was a painful purchase for the three women in their early-30s who were firmly nudged to cough up $150 each for the privilege of wearing it for one day, a day in which they were was expected to keep a straight look on their faces in front of 100 people. (I will admit that the glasses were my idea, and it took a lot to talk me into smaller frames years later.)

My response to the inevitable was to indulge in a serious amount of champagne at the Las Vegas wedding reception, which was probably an appropriate catwalk for my Maria Von Trapp ensemble. After I lurched back to my hotel room, I had a pretty good time immortalizing myself in the hot pink outfit with tripod and camera.

But bride wants what the bride wants, as the reality television show, “Bridezillas,” has so spectacularly shown us, and there are entire websites devoted to what are considered the worst bridesmaid dresses of this and the last century. I am certainly not alone in my 27-year case of the fashion-mistake giggles, and bridesmaids today continue to roll their eyes at what they are expected to wear and proudly display on their friend’s Big Day.

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Responses

  1. You paid $150 for a dress you hated? How nice of you. Not sure how I would have handled a demand like that from the bride.

  2. If it makes you feel any better, I was the best man at a wedding in 1979 and required to wear an ensemble of a chocolate colored suit with and a peach-colored tux — as if it had been designed by Baskin Robbins.

    The happy couple is still married so I suppose it all worked out for the best.

    • That’s pretty good….

  3. We just told all our friends that the colors were sort of teal/turquoise and mauve/burgundy and that anyone who wanted to wear them could be in our processional.
    I’m not sure (this was back in 1983) but I think we ended up with 2 flower girls, a couple of bridesmaids, and lots of ushers (who just needed suit jackets, and several of whom were teens and pre-teens having a lot of fun being “grown up”.


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