Posted by: cassymuronaka | April 16, 2009

Keeping up with Keeping Up

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In less two months, I have begun Facebooking and Twittering. Last summer I put up a webpage and opened an Etsy account. In January, I began a blog. And before that, I acquiesced to being Linked-In.

Right now, I could not be more in touch with every little vibration in the universe unless I sank giant electrodes into my head and began a real-time feed of whatever was momentarily wandering across my consciousness.

There are no thoughts from Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore — and I mean not one — that have escaped me. And I’m almost overwhelmed by the nearly omnipotent ability of an average bozo such as myself to directly enrage Tina Fey, by posting a constant and public stream of diss, not unlike the entertainment forum critics to whom she gave a very negative shout-out in an acceptance speech during a televised Golden Globes Awards show.

As I sit here typing, I am thinking about sending Randy Newman a Facebook Friend Request, because he loves LA, because I’m in LA, and because I just saw someone else do it and be accepted.

For more than 15 years I have had the same AOL sign-on. Now I have four email addresses, which I check in varying degrees of priority. One of them is tied into the Etsy account, which I forgot all about for a while, and ended up missing two Welcome! messages (but no sales) and a $3.28 overdue bill from Etsy. That resulted in me groveling to my husband and asking him to please-pay-it-right-now on the Paypal account that he named after a World War II tank.

Previously, the only creatures to whom I was constantly communicating were two aging canines, neither of whom care about Big Celebrity Thoughts, or who got laid off at a newspaper last week, or which U.S. President you are after taking one of the innumerable Facebook quizzes available to people with possibly way too much time on their hands (by the way, I’m Ulysses S. Grant). The only information the dogs want from me is whether I plan to barbecue tonight.

I’m probably going to lie down with a cold compress on my head soon, because of the constant bombardment of sense data perpetually rocketing around in my brain. But first I need to update the iTunes playlist on my iPod.

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