Posted by: cassymuronaka | January 27, 2009

Go away

I suppose it’s an indication of the economic circumstances in which all currently find ourselves, but the number of solicitors showing up on my doorstep began increasing dramatically late last summer, the majority of whom dearly wish to sell me new windows or cut down all my trees.

It already has been making me crazy that the “number unavailable” telephone solicitor snakes have cracked the Da Vinci Code and are slithering out of the walls at me at once again. So much for the government’s Do Not Call List.

So now, people are regularly pounding on my front door at dinnertime, just as I am about to tuck into a tasty Lean Cuisine.

Once you are stupid enough to open the door, you quickly find that these aggressive motor mouths do not go away very easily.  They actually stand there and ARGUE with you on the doorstep, forcefully pointing out the alarming amount of work that your house and yard need.  And this is so lame, because, I don’t know what these guys define as good business technique, but giving homeowners a highly-detailed description of how crappy their property looks  is not what you’d learn at the Donald Trump School of Sales.

So, after enduring the third window salesman in one week, I stomped into the family room, flipped on the computer and let my magic fingers fly on Microsoft Word.  I then printed out 8 ½” X 11” printer paper sign saying:


NO, we do not need new windows.

NO, no necessitamos cortar los árboles o ayda in el jardín
(No, we do not need our trees cut or help in the garden)

Two nights after I taped this sign on the front door, the bell rang again.  But when my  son answered the door … there was no one. Clearly, the caller was a salesman, one who had been trolling the street, with his mind completely on autopilot.  After pushing the doorbell, he began to wait for an answer, all the while tapping anxious little feet.  But after a few seconds, his eyes landed on my sign.  And, then … he ran away.

There have been no ring-a-ding-dings since.



  1. Bravo at scaring the solisitor away. (Love the sign idea!)

  2. I’ve always believed that one of the big reasons why cell phones have been gaining in popularity is that solicitors are much less likely to call those numbers….though that seems to be changing, too.

    People who do this kind of work can be mentally unbalanced. I once had a psycho solicitor refuse to get off the phone after I insulted him. He demanded that I apologize and stayed on my line for 20 minutes. I called the local PD on my cell but got nowhere. So I apologized while hoping that there is a hell that he will go to.

  3. Adrienne, thanks, let’s hope it lasts.

    Big D, I think you have to be financially desperate or a little loopy to be a telephone solicitor. I lasted not even three days on a high school job as a Kirby Vacuum cleaner solicitor.

  4. I think you should post about the 3 days working for Kirby

  5. I think you should post about Kirby, too. Just don’t use my name in a harsh manner.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: